Your brother's radiation did what??
Nearly every day at work I encounter a ridiculous reason for a patient to be sitting in front of me, waiting to be seen by a doctor.
Sometimes it's only a little ridiculous:
Chief Complaint: 31 year old male, possible broken ankle
patient: "I twisted my right ankle playing basketball, it hurts when I move but I hobbled to my car and drove here so I could get checked out. You're going to get an x-ray, right, to make sure it's not broken?"
me: "um, well, if you could walk on it and drive all the way to the hospital yourself, it's probably not broken, just sprained, and you won't need x-rays..."
Sometimes it's pretty darn ridiculous:
Chief Complaint: 52 year old male, headache
patient: "I have a really bad headache, it started 5 days ago when I sat next to my brother at his house, he had radiation on his thyroid 2 weeks ago and now I've got a headache because I sat beside him. I know that's why because the headache's on my left, and he was sitting on my left too"
me: "........."
me: ".............."
Finally, after 3 or 4 long seconds, my brain started working again.
me: "you weren't sitting next to your brother while he got the radiation treatments, were you?"
patient: "oh no, this was probably a week afterwards. He came in to the hospital to get that done, by himself."
me: "Well, the good news is, that's not how radiation works. You can't get it from somebody else who got radiation therapy. They do not become radioactive."
patient: "But look, my brother said so himself, he's making me sick because he got the treatment!"
Patient hands me an index card, upon which is written: "I got radiation to my thyroid 2 weeks ago, and now my brother and my mom are both sick because they have visited me since the radiation. signed, patient's brother"
me: "........."
Sometimes, it's so flabbergastingly ridiculous, I'll end up in shock for a few minutes, trying to figure out if what I heard was supposed to be one big joke:
Chief Complaint: 40 year old male, previously healthy, left arm pain
patient: "I'm coming in because my left arm has been hurting for two weeks, and I've been having trouble breathing too."
me: "Does your arm hurt when you're being active?"
patient: "No, never. Only when I'm driving in my car. I've been driving a lot for the past 2-3 weeks, for business."
me: "I see...do you drive with your arm out the window?"
patient: "Why, yes! I do. And it hurts every time I put it up out the window."
me: "........"
Right about now I'm staring at this guy like he's got three heads, or maybe just one that's the size of a walnut. I take a deep breath.
me: "Okay, what about the breathing, is that worse when you're exerting yourself?"
patient: "Yeah, but it's bad when I'm just sitting around, too. And now I've got a stuffy nose, it's hard to breath through my nose, my throat hurts, I'm coughing, but nothing's coming up. Then I had a fever tonight, it was 103 degrees! So I called an ambulance right away."
me: "...You came by ambulance."
By this time I'm definitely staring at him like he's got a head the size of a walnut.
patient: "Yes yes, I thought something horrible might happen if I didn't come to the hospital quickly, with that fever. I didn't think I should wait until morning to see my doctor."
me: "You have an appointment to see your doctor in the morning!?"
patient: "Yes. At 8AM sharp!"
I should point out that currently, it was 12:42AM. Now I'm starting to think this guy acutally has a walnut in place of any Common Sense that might have curbed this ridiculous exchange.
me: "Well, sir, I think you have a couple of different issues. Your arm hurts because you're putting pressure on the nerve that runs down your arm when you're driving. And you have what sounds like a virus triggering bronchitis from your past smoking. Let's get you some medicine now, and then get you home so you can get some sleep and go see your doctor in a few hours as a follow up. How's that sound?"
patient: "Sounds great... Can you give me something for sleep, too? I can't sleep."
The patient receives the magic OTC pills of Motrin (for fever and arm pain), Benadryl (for nasal congestion and sleep), Claritin (for the nose, too). A heating pack for the arm. And he also gets an albuterol inhaler for his bronchitis, which he happens to have from the years of smoking. Twenty minutes later, I check in on Snoring Beauty.
me: "How're you feeling, any better?"
patient: "Oh good, good, I'm feel soooo much better!"
The patient sleepily travels home by taxi, breathing more easily, arm pain free. The End.
Although, I still can't believe this guy called an ambulance for a cold, and arm pain from driving with his arm hanging out the damn window for 2 weeks straight. Especially when he had an appointment with his regular doctor in less than 8 hours. It's not that I mind seeing (and easily fixing) these complaints. It's just that, geez, this is why ERs get so backed up sometimes. Common sense, people, common sense.
Sometimes it's only a little ridiculous:
Chief Complaint: 31 year old male, possible broken ankle
patient: "I twisted my right ankle playing basketball, it hurts when I move but I hobbled to my car and drove here so I could get checked out. You're going to get an x-ray, right, to make sure it's not broken?"
me: "um, well, if you could walk on it and drive all the way to the hospital yourself, it's probably not broken, just sprained, and you won't need x-rays..."
Sometimes it's pretty darn ridiculous:
Chief Complaint: 52 year old male, headache
patient: "I have a really bad headache, it started 5 days ago when I sat next to my brother at his house, he had radiation on his thyroid 2 weeks ago and now I've got a headache because I sat beside him. I know that's why because the headache's on my left, and he was sitting on my left too"
me: "........."
me: ".............."
Finally, after 3 or 4 long seconds, my brain started working again.
me: "you weren't sitting next to your brother while he got the radiation treatments, were you?"
patient: "oh no, this was probably a week afterwards. He came in to the hospital to get that done, by himself."
me: "Well, the good news is, that's not how radiation works. You can't get it from somebody else who got radiation therapy. They do not become radioactive."
patient: "But look, my brother said so himself, he's making me sick because he got the treatment!"
Patient hands me an index card, upon which is written: "I got radiation to my thyroid 2 weeks ago, and now my brother and my mom are both sick because they have visited me since the radiation. signed, patient's brother"
me: "........."
Sometimes, it's so flabbergastingly ridiculous, I'll end up in shock for a few minutes, trying to figure out if what I heard was supposed to be one big joke:
Chief Complaint: 40 year old male, previously healthy, left arm pain
patient: "I'm coming in because my left arm has been hurting for two weeks, and I've been having trouble breathing too."
me: "Does your arm hurt when you're being active?"
patient: "No, never. Only when I'm driving in my car. I've been driving a lot for the past 2-3 weeks, for business."
me: "I see...do you drive with your arm out the window?"
patient: "Why, yes! I do. And it hurts every time I put it up out the window."
me: "........"
Right about now I'm staring at this guy like he's got three heads, or maybe just one that's the size of a walnut. I take a deep breath.
me: "Okay, what about the breathing, is that worse when you're exerting yourself?"
patient: "Yeah, but it's bad when I'm just sitting around, too. And now I've got a stuffy nose, it's hard to breath through my nose, my throat hurts, I'm coughing, but nothing's coming up. Then I had a fever tonight, it was 103 degrees! So I called an ambulance right away."
me: "...You came by ambulance."
By this time I'm definitely staring at him like he's got a head the size of a walnut.
patient: "Yes yes, I thought something horrible might happen if I didn't come to the hospital quickly, with that fever. I didn't think I should wait until morning to see my doctor."
me: "You have an appointment to see your doctor in the morning!?"
patient: "Yes. At 8AM sharp!"
I should point out that currently, it was 12:42AM. Now I'm starting to think this guy acutally has a walnut in place of any Common Sense that might have curbed this ridiculous exchange.
me: "Well, sir, I think you have a couple of different issues. Your arm hurts because you're putting pressure on the nerve that runs down your arm when you're driving. And you have what sounds like a virus triggering bronchitis from your past smoking. Let's get you some medicine now, and then get you home so you can get some sleep and go see your doctor in a few hours as a follow up. How's that sound?"
patient: "Sounds great... Can you give me something for sleep, too? I can't sleep."
The patient receives the magic OTC pills of Motrin (for fever and arm pain), Benadryl (for nasal congestion and sleep), Claritin (for the nose, too). A heating pack for the arm. And he also gets an albuterol inhaler for his bronchitis, which he happens to have from the years of smoking. Twenty minutes later, I check in on Snoring Beauty.
me: "How're you feeling, any better?"
patient: "Oh good, good, I'm feel soooo much better!"
The patient sleepily travels home by taxi, breathing more easily, arm pain free. The End.
Although, I still can't believe this guy called an ambulance for a cold, and arm pain from driving with his arm hanging out the damn window for 2 weeks straight. Especially when he had an appointment with his regular doctor in less than 8 hours. It's not that I mind seeing (and easily fixing) these complaints. It's just that, geez, this is why ERs get so backed up sometimes. Common sense, people, common sense.
posted by yvonne at 9:44 a.m.
1 Comments:
Hopefully they had to wait 8 hrs in the hard chairs in the ER before being seen. Oops, did I say that out loud? I was in a Family Meds Walk-In Clinic once, and the girl's chief complaint was "I need a note for my midterm in 2 days". She had already gotten a note for the previous week, and completed a course of ABx. I couldn't believe it. She looked well, and I don't know why in the 3 hrs she sat in the waiting room, why she couldn't have studied.
- michelmo
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